The Savage Yeast
Tim Griffin, Talis Kimberley
I was taking all my baking back to Mother Nature’s way
Using wild yeast to raise my sourdough
Put some water, salt, and flour into a bowl and walked away
So the microbes could feed and breed and grow
When I came home to my kitchen from a weekend by the sea
The sourdough had got to growing exponentially
It was half across the kitchen as it fought to be released
Growing everywhere; beware the savage yeast!
I had a trendy friend who said he’d show me how to brew
Fresh kombucha in a bottle on the shelf
Put a scabby little scoby in some tea is all you do
Sure, you’re gonna get your guts in better health
And those little probiotics did their thing all nice and calm
’Til the bottle they were breeding in exploded like a bomb
It blew out half the pantry, someone might have been deceased
Had they been in there; beware the savage yeast!
I was cleaning out the fridge and it had been at least a year
With my sauerkraut fermenting in the back
It had eaten all the yogurt while the pickles fled in fear
And the kimchi lamenting the attack
I determined all fermented foods are better left alone
So I gathered my belongings and I found another home
Gonna quarantine the kitchen for a dozen years at least
If you go in there, beware the savage yeast!
Now you brewers and you bakers, when you hear the sorry tale
How the microbes may menace all you do
Will you heed the lamentation of my fermentation fail
Or will the wild yeast rise up against you too?
If you’re looking for adventure of a culinary kind
In the West or East, the savage yeast will never be confined
There can be no compromising with the rising of the beast
So if you dare to go in there, beware the savage yeast!
A while back, I wrote a song called The Smith about the development of various metals and alloys. British folk/filk singer Talis Kimberley (who is awesome BTW) liked the tune and asked to borrow some bits of it for a song she wrote about baking, called The Wild Yeast. Of course I agreed; then I heard her song and thought about how many things have gone wrong in my own kitchen, especially when fermentation is involved. So for fun I stole the tune back again to write about some of my kitchen disasters. By now the original tune is only present in bits and pieces; we call that the "folk process," which sounds more awesome than "playing it wrong." It's all terribly bardic, you see.
All of the incidents in this song really did happen in my kitchen. There is some hyperbole, but less than you might think.
Chords: Em, Am, B7